Only about two weeks left of LT, and the thought of that really makes me sad. I don't want to go back for a handful of different reasons. One of which is the fact that I know a lot will change when I get back, and it's not going to be easy. I would like to ask for your prayers and support through this. I know that people will probably get angry at me, and I'm afraid that I will lose the willpower, the fire and the passion that I've gained while at LT. I'm afraid to go back. I don't want to go back. It would be nice if everyone I miss, could come down here to live. We could go to UNCW and finish our degrees, or work at various hospitals or companies down here. In all reality though, I know that won't happen.
On a happier note, I still am in love with LT. I have not lost the wonder and amazement of living on the beach, and I'm still as taken away by it as the first day I was here. The people who were strangers to me when I first arrived are now close friends and even family. We are a family that will be torn apart all too soon. My relationship and my faith in God has grown inexplicably stronger while being in the place. I can honestly say now that when I pray, worship, or otherwise enter into His presence, he is there. I can feel Him there, not just with emotions, but in a way deeper than emotions. My growing relationship with Him is positively effecting my relationships with other people, and even my relationship with myself.
Coming down there, if I were to describe myself in one word, I would probably have said "broken". I felt as if I were broken into many many pieces, scattered all over the floor, unable to put myself back together. Now, I would describe myself as "restored". While there are still cracks, God has graciously gathered the spread out pieces and put them back together in an even better arrangement. I'm still me. But I'm an improved me. I'm not perfect, or better or worse than anyone else, but I'm an improved version of the person I was before LT. The decision to do LT was certainly one of the best decisions I've made in a long time. I just hope I can continue to develop the habits I've started down here into a lifestyle that is worshipful and pleasing to God. I want to be someone described as "a woman after God's own heart", and after this experience, I think that I'm closer to being that woman.
So again, I ask you for prayer, support and encouragement, especially when I get back home, because I will need it. Thank you so much and never be afraid to tell me how I can pray for you!
