These past few weeks I've been participating in a program called "21 Days of Friendship" through a website designed to help women meet and make deep and meaningful (platonic) friendships. I have to admit, at first I was kinda embarrassed to do a program like that, I mean, friendship should come naturally right? If you have a hard time making friends, then obviously there is something wrong with you - or so I thought. Yesterday I drove back home from a vacation in Minnesota where I met some friends I've known on Twitter for quite a long time, but had never met them in person. On the 12 hour drive back, I was listening to the audiobook The Hiding Place. I'm still not quite done with the book, but it's already left a huge impression on me and how I view circumstances and people around me.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Saturday, June 11, 2011
What Helps Negativity. For Me at Least.
I've always been very prone to depresive thinking and thought patterns. By nature, I've always been fairly negative and cynical, though I try to keep those traits at bay and channel them into being discerning and analytical. One thing I've noticed about myself, as well as other people, is that when people are down, stressed, worried, or else, one thing that always seems to help is validation. I know with me, I always try to brush off things that are going on as no big deal. Sometimes this works, but not usually. Someone telling me that it's okay to be upset at what's going on, is golden!
Now, I can't necessarily say that everyone else is like that, but I would venture to say that a lot, if not most women, are. Men, I know handle things like that differently and I haven't quite cracked what helps them in times like that. But knowing that it's okay to be upset/angry/stressed/sad about stuff helps a lot. It also helps when people tell me they are praying for me and offer me encouragement. If someone is like me, they aren't very good at offering encouragement. If you can't be encouraging verbally, however - touch works WONDERS!
One night this week I was really upset, and one of my friends texted my mom to tell her. She knew I was upset but didn't realize the degree. I was going to bed but called me in her room and I lied down on the bed with her for a while, and she curled up closer to me and started rubbing my back and head. Just the touch was probably as helpful as anything she said, and my mom has a gift of encouraging people!
So yeah, if you know someone (particularly a woman, and particularly me, I guess!) if you see that she is upset, listen to her, and be honest, but let her know it's okay to be upset. Touch her arm or her back. I find light back rubs and head massages to be some of the most relaxing and comforting things someone can do! Pray for me. Pray with me if you can.
Kind of a random post, but I was thinking about it a lot over the past few days and just wanted to get it out.
Now, I can't necessarily say that everyone else is like that, but I would venture to say that a lot, if not most women, are. Men, I know handle things like that differently and I haven't quite cracked what helps them in times like that. But knowing that it's okay to be upset/angry/stressed/sad about stuff helps a lot. It also helps when people tell me they are praying for me and offer me encouragement. If someone is like me, they aren't very good at offering encouragement. If you can't be encouraging verbally, however - touch works WONDERS!
One night this week I was really upset, and one of my friends texted my mom to tell her. She knew I was upset but didn't realize the degree. I was going to bed but called me in her room and I lied down on the bed with her for a while, and she curled up closer to me and started rubbing my back and head. Just the touch was probably as helpful as anything she said, and my mom has a gift of encouraging people!
So yeah, if you know someone (particularly a woman, and particularly me, I guess!) if you see that she is upset, listen to her, and be honest, but let her know it's okay to be upset. Touch her arm or her back. I find light back rubs and head massages to be some of the most relaxing and comforting things someone can do! Pray for me. Pray with me if you can.
Kind of a random post, but I was thinking about it a lot over the past few days and just wanted to get it out.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Church this morning.
Usually it's at night that the loneliness stings the worst. Today, however, it seems like everywhere I turn I get a reminder of how alone, unaccomplished, and insignificant I feel. I know that people weren't meant to live life alone. That we were meant to live in community. In close-knit circles with other people. If that is so, why are relationships so messy? I'm not talking about romantic relationships. I'm talking about friendships. Relationships with co-workers. Family. Why is it that in time of need, at least in my case, I can't necessarily speak for other people, when I need community, relationships, and people the most, that I pull back from people, and keep them at arms length? Wouldn't it make sense that if being with other people was a natural remedy for loneliness, heartbreak, and a whole slew of other things, that it would be natural and easy to reach out? Why the heck is it not???????
Today in Sunday School we were talking about prayer, and How Christ is an example for prayer. We talked about honesty in prayer, when/how is the best time to do it, and the vital importance of prayer. How prayer is a source of strength. It's our food, you could say, spiritual food required for growth.
I've never really understood prayer. I've never understood the point of it, or why it is so important. All I know is that for some reason, God wants us to pray. This mentality was addressed in SS this morning, but I can honestly say, I've thought this way for years: God is sovereign and will do whatever He wants, regardless of whether or not I pray. The series on prayer we're going through has been helpful, though.
The morning church service, though, was painful, to put it lightly. The pastor was recognizing the high school graduates in the congregation. Which is good, they should be recognized, graduating is a big deal. It was painful, though, because he kept talking about the next four years of college, and all the choices that will have to be made. Choices about careers, life, relationships, and family. He kept talking about "finding your mate" in college, and I just wanted to scream every time he did. (I should point out, I'm not angry at the pastor for saying those things, I was just very frustrated as he kept talking about several things that I've been dealing with over the past month (and longer for some) as if they were no big deal.) As if the four years spent in college is plenty of time to figure those things out. But here I am, 2 years out of college, AND I'M NO WHERE I'D LIKE TO BE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I wanted to tell the graduates that all the answers in life won't be answered in college. That they will change their majors several times, not graduate in four years but more likely 5 or 6, that even after they graduate they won't find a job in their chosen field because no one cares about education, they only care about experience, and that they will get hurt more times than they will be able to count! As much as I wanted to say those things out loud, I thought it better to keep it to myself. Either that, or I was just too much of a chicken to say it out loud.
So yeah, all in all, I'm glad I went to SS this morning, but I wish I had plans or something that I had to leave for which would have prevented me from hearing the sermon. I can't really believe I'm still planning on this, but I do intend to go to the evening service. Maybe that one will be better.
Today in Sunday School we were talking about prayer, and How Christ is an example for prayer. We talked about honesty in prayer, when/how is the best time to do it, and the vital importance of prayer. How prayer is a source of strength. It's our food, you could say, spiritual food required for growth.
I've never really understood prayer. I've never understood the point of it, or why it is so important. All I know is that for some reason, God wants us to pray. This mentality was addressed in SS this morning, but I can honestly say, I've thought this way for years: God is sovereign and will do whatever He wants, regardless of whether or not I pray. The series on prayer we're going through has been helpful, though.
The morning church service, though, was painful, to put it lightly. The pastor was recognizing the high school graduates in the congregation. Which is good, they should be recognized, graduating is a big deal. It was painful, though, because he kept talking about the next four years of college, and all the choices that will have to be made. Choices about careers, life, relationships, and family. He kept talking about "finding your mate" in college, and I just wanted to scream every time he did. (I should point out, I'm not angry at the pastor for saying those things, I was just very frustrated as he kept talking about several things that I've been dealing with over the past month (and longer for some) as if they were no big deal.) As if the four years spent in college is plenty of time to figure those things out. But here I am, 2 years out of college, AND I'M NO WHERE I'D LIKE TO BE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I wanted to tell the graduates that all the answers in life won't be answered in college. That they will change their majors several times, not graduate in four years but more likely 5 or 6, that even after they graduate they won't find a job in their chosen field because no one cares about education, they only care about experience, and that they will get hurt more times than they will be able to count! As much as I wanted to say those things out loud, I thought it better to keep it to myself. Either that, or I was just too much of a chicken to say it out loud.
So yeah, all in all, I'm glad I went to SS this morning, but I wish I had plans or something that I had to leave for which would have prevented me from hearing the sermon. I can't really believe I'm still planning on this, but I do intend to go to the evening service. Maybe that one will be better.
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