EQT - 7/6/09

What do I expect when I do EQT? Why do I always fee like they are dry and that I am watching the clock waiting for it to end? Whenever I start EQT, I always do into it with the hope/expectation of connecting with God. What does that mean? How do you know when you have "connected" with God? How can you make it happen? I have always found it very hard to connect with God, because I connect with other people primarily through touch. Hugs. Pats on the back. Rubbing arms and shoulders. Gentle knocking or something as you pass by and so on. God is not a physical being. Or at least, He chooses not to manifest Himself in such a way. There have been so many times that i have longed, and yearned for God to apperate beside me or something, and let me climb on to HIs lap and just cry. There have been other times that i've been in the kitchen cooking or walking down the road or something and I've wished, almost painfully at times, that He was walking beside me, talking to me, knocking His shoulder against mine. Hitting arms/hands as they swing with each step. Not matter ho much I long for that, however, I don't think it will ever happen. Now, back to my original thought: What do/should I expect to get out of EQT? I almost always leave feeling, at least somewhat, refreshed, but at the same time, disappointed. I want more than just refreshment. I'm not necessarily saying that I want a huge epiphany every EQT, but I do want connection. This goes back to the earlier dilemma of how do I connect with God and what does that even look like? Should I be happy/content with just feeling refreshed? Is it even okay that I am longing for more? How will I even know the answer? Will I ever know the answer?