Week 1 of LT

So last week, the day finally arrived that I left the midwest for the summer, and went to the east coast!  Specifically, Wilmington, North Carolina.  I'm actually not staying in Wilmington, but in a smaller town just south of it called Carolina Beach.  It's incredible so far.  I'm in an ocean front beach house!  Yeah, OCEAN FRONT!  The atlantic ocean is seriously in my back yard!  I love it!  For the past week, I've been going to bed to the sound of the waves crashing onto the shore instead of my iTunes playlists!  

Spiritually it's a little different however.  Since high school, I've felt very spiritually dry, and that God is very distant from me, and so far, this continues to be the case.  I've been doing a lot of journaling, and the mindless writing, that is, writing without thinking about what I will write about before hand, has brought a lot to light.  There are several things that I didn't realize that I believed until I just wrote it down before I could talk myself out of it.  I would love to talk to one of the staff members about it, but I'm not sure who.  I definitely don't want to talk to the other students about it very much.  Mainly because of my trust issues with students, which makes the fact that I don't want to talk to a BSU staff member really weird.  If at all possible, I'd like to talk to one of the V Tech or WVU staff members.   I don't know.  It's mainly about my 8+ year dry spell.  My dry spell has been thrown into sharp light this past week.

On the first day of LT, everyone was sent on a prayer walk, asking God the question; "What would you like to do with me this summer?", or a question similar to that.  The assignment was actually to pray about the answer if God were to ask us the question "What would you have me do for you?", but is the same thing basically.  The answer I kept coming up with was "I'm going to work on your faith... faith... faith"  I kinda fought it at first because I thought there were so many other things God could work on besides my faith, but then as I thought about it, I realized, pretty much all the issues I've been dealing with, are either directly, or indirectly faith related.  Last night (Thursday night), during service (kind of a church service) we had a speaker named Jim Pace who hit the nail on the head when he closed his sermon with the phrase "This summer, God want's you to say 'yes' to faith, and 'no' to fear".  Scary, I know.  

For the rest of the summer, I'm trying to keep my mind open, and my expectations low.  I'm afraid of being disappointed about it when I leave, but I don't want to keep God from doing what he wants to do this summer.