Wrestling with things I don't really like to wrestle with...

I wrote this while at work today:

I do not like the idea of the "elect". I have found myself leaning towards the reformed theology (Calvinism) school of thought, but the brick wall I always hit is the concept of the "elect". Yet the elect is a crucial concept in... Calvinism/Predestination/Reformed Theology. Logically, it makes sense. Take into account the sovereignty of God, and his all-power and omnipresence, election makes sense. Even many scripture passages seem to support it. But think about God being merciful, loving, and just and election does not make sense. It makes God seem sadistic and cruel. Much like the God Richard Dawkin's describes in The God Delusion. I don't like that God, quite frankly.

How can I be sure of my own salvation then? Have I really been called? Regenerated? How could I know? It does not seem like I am producing much fruit as I would be if I were regenerated, called, and saved.

Scary [stuff]...

As I'm sifting through some passages referring to election and predestination, they all seem to point towards it, even though I still don't like the idea.

As was pointed out to me though, it's really not about what I like, or what is comfortable to me, it's about what's biblically true. What's scripturally sound.

It's funny, earlier today I was talking to another friend on the phone about this topic, and I had so much more to say than I can remember right now. Thinking about it earlier, and everything I don't like about it even put me in somewhat of a foul mood, more so even than working in my extremely hot store (our AC broke a few weeks ago, we have absolutely NO circulation whatsoever in there...).

Mostly, earlier we were talking about different reasons why neither one of us really liked the idea of election. I'm still starting to think that the concept of election is true and scripturally supported (which ultimately is what I'm looking for. Contextually appropriate Bible passages that either support or deny Predestination and/or free will). He doesn't like it for many of the same reasons why I do not like the idea, but he still doesn't think there's any truth to it at all. Okay, maybe he thinks there's some truth in it, but not to the degree of Predestination, not exactly sure.

More wrestling to come. Hopefully more blog posts (trying to get back in the habit of blogging) and hopefully more scripture to support or deny what I'm thinking about and mulling over.