Depression

Every year around this time something happens.  Many time's it's linked to fewer daylight hours each day, changing weather, and getting bogged down with various commitments with school, friends, family, and church.  It's easy to get overwhelmed when being pulled in 80 different directions with people and being the negative thinker I tend to be, it's easy to slip into depression.

One thing I've found to be very true this time of year, soon after the solstice, is that it takes a lot of energy to fight the onslaught of depression.  A lot of times, it takes more energy to fight it, than it would be to simply give into the pain.  Another thing that I've realized, fairly more recently, that I'm worth the fight against depression.  Last year I would have fought depression to a small degree, honestly thinking that I deserved to be depressed, and that no one would care or be affected by my depression.  What I now know is worlds different from what I used to believe.  I now know that when God says He loves me, He means it.  He doesn't mean it they way we do, where we'll say it, and throw the word "love" around so casually, without really understanding his meaning.  He really means it.  He loves me!  The creator and orchestrator of the universe loves me enough to take the time to count the number of hairs on my head.  (And he must do it often because I have a lot of hair, but I also shed a lot of hair!  Just check my hairbrush every morning!)

Knowing all this helps the fight, but it's still a fight.  It's still a fight because Satan knows my weak spots.  He knows where to hit me for maximum effect.  He knows how to wear me down and then back off, letting me think that I'm safe, so that I let my guard down, and then hit me like a mack truck.  He's smart, and he knows what hurts.  This does not negate the strength of God, however.  If anything it exemplifies it.  In scriptures is says that in our weakness, He is made strong.  I've never really understood that statement.  (2 Corinthians 12:9 BTW)  If asked to explain it, I would just be really quiet and hope someone else had an answer because I was clueless.  Now, I would explain it like this...  In areas that we are strong, or things that we are good at, it looks like it is us that's succeeding.  God's work in that area is overshadowed by our own glory.  However, in areas that we are weak, not-so-good, or not so talented, God has a chance to really shine and show His strength.

With me personally, I can think of two areas that I am weak in.  Obviously, there are many MANY more, but these are just big ones that are easily seen.  One is my fight against depression.  I'm not very good at it, and I give in easily.  The other is physical fitness.  Now, if all of the sudden I got really good in those areas, if depression was never a real fight for me, and if I suddenly had the discipline and desire to work out, eat right and get healthier, that would be a small testament to the abounding grace, and incredible strength of God.  That is because I don't have the strength to do that on my own.  I need all the help I can get.  More help than other people, even fellow brothers and sisters in Christ can give me.  Those are areas that only God can be truly effective in.

All in all, depression is a battle for me.  Joy is not easily found for me, and I'm sure it's not easy  for others as well.  But the battle is not too big for God.  God is bigger than depression.  God is bigger than the fight, He is bigger than the devil.  He will give you the strength to continue fighting the devil's blows.  He is crazy in love with us and wants to see us succeed.  All He asks in return is for us to be crazy in love with Him back, and worship Him and give me the glory He deserves.  Not an easy task for us, especially in our American culture, but it's the least that we can do!