But not the kind of sexual frustration that first popped into your head!
I've always thought I had a fairly high tolerance for sexual discussions, but the conversations that go on at work is definitely pushing me over the edge as far as what I can handle. I am one of 5 women on my team at work - out of 17 total (ish). Most of the guys on the team are single, and only one, to my knowledge is actually married. (One of the others is engaged.) One is "casually involved" with several girls, stating all the time that he "keeps things PG-13, but 13-year-old's get pregnant all the time". Another one is divorced and is always talking about different ways to curb the sexual frustration he endures. Even one of the women I work with likes to go into more detail about her sex life than I ever thought I would hear about in the work-place.
One of the main difference, I think, in this situation, and talking about sex like I have in the past, is the context in which it's talked about. In the past, I've almost always talked about sex in the context of a relationship between two (sometimes more) people. This relationship was not always marriage, but there was always some kind of relationship there before there was sex(I was always careful that when I talked about sex it was in the context of marriage). Now, the two people I'm talking about in particular, completely forgo the relationship and go straight for sexsexsexsex. There's not even a level of respect, I don't think, between the two partners, just as much sex as the two guys can possibly get.
One of the two guys, over the past several days has been trying to convince the only married man on the team to take his wife to the local swinger's club. He's also talking about how if you go to the right places, you can hire a "chick" to come over and clean your house naked, how it sucks that only couples and single women can get into the swingers club, and single guys don't have a chance of getting in, and how it's ironic that there's an adult section in what are supposedly "family-friendly" places. He also talks about how "comical" it is that all these preachers are getting caught in sex scandals because even though the church doesn't let them do such things, they're men, so what can you expect?
The other one, who is "casually involved" in several relationships can get caught up with the previously mentioned first co-worker, and the two can swap stories and tips for each other.
As a young woman practicing abstinence, and monogamy upon marriage to another Godly man (who has hopefully also practiced abstinence his whole life), hearing these conversations can be very disheartening. Today the first co-worker mentioned that one of the first things that should be covered in a relationship before it gets serious is whether or not the girl is okay with doing a threesome, and how everyone should experience one at least once in their lives. The second one that tends to feed off the first started talking about it as well and different stories that either happened, to them, almost happened to them, or happened to friends of them. The first said that if the girl the guy is involved with is not okay with a threesome, then he should break it off right there.
I have heard about things like this in the movies and on TV, but I didn't realize that real-life guys actually thought this way. Maybe I'm just even more naive than I previously thought, but I think it's totally unreasonable that I should be EXPECTED to participate in a threesome! It's discouraging because I'm realizing that men who think like this are much more common than I previously thought, and it makes me even more insecure that my standards for a man are simply too high.
I don't think it's unreasonable to ask for a man who will put God before me at all times, and all stages of our relationship - friendship, dating, engagement, marriage, and so on, and that he will stay faithful to me (in mind and body) as I will stay faithful to him. Just writing those things out, it doesn't seem like much, but there is a lot that goes along with those things. Encouragement, accountability, responsibility, correct priorities, and so on. I'm trying not to get too discouraged and trust God, but every day it gets a little big harder.
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